what your favorite album says about you
[ * from Jest Magazine]
by Christian Finnegan
It is said that one should never judge a book by its cover. That seems like sound logic, but what about album covers? A Celine Dion album, for instance, that someone tells you is their favorite? I think it’s safe to say that you have every right to judge that album, and moreover, the person who enjoys it. The following is a short list of various albums and what they say about the people who love them.
My favorite album is:
Moby – Play
I’m old, but I don’t know it yet.
Dave Matthews Band – Crash
I know sororities are lame, but I’m still probably going to rush. You know, just like a goof. Because I am sooo not a dumb sororoty girl. Right? Right?
John Coltrane – A Love Supreme
I tell anyone who’ll listen what an avid jazz fan I am. But the truth is, is not for that Ken Burns documentary, I wouldn’t know John Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazard’s Roscoe P. Coltrane.
Mary J. Blige – No More drama
I am exactly 50 percent gangsta, 50 percent gay guy.
Jethru Tull – Thick as a Brick
I’m your source for topnotch “Doctor Who” fan fiction
Dmitri Shostakovisch – Symphonies Nºs 5 & 9
Although I lambaste popular culture at every opportunity, I occasionally beat off to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Pavement – Slanted and Echanted
Everyone in this room is an asshole, except me. And yes, I know that my t-shirt is too snug.
Miss Saigon – Original 1989 London Cast
I am horrible in bed.
Terrence Trent D’Arby – Neither Fish nor Flesh
I am ridiculed by black people and white people alike.
They Might be Giants – Lincoln
Wanna hear me recite The Life of Brian in its entirety?
John Mayer – Room for Squares
I respect you. And your gender.
Eric Clapton – Crossroads
I have to swing by JCPenny and Suncoast Video, so why don’t we just meet up later, in the food court?
The Grateful Dead – Terrapin Station
Never mind what I did when I was younger! I’m your father and I’m telling you: Marijuana is bad news, mister!
Eminem – 8 Mile: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Well, no, I don’t acctually “hang out” with black people. But I get it. You know, their hole deal.
Wu-Tang Clan – Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
I’m far more idiosyncratic than the people I grew up with in upper-middle-class suburban Massachusetts.
Michael Jackson – Invincible
I am from Bulgaria.
[ ** read also What your Favorite Movie Says About You]
[*** essa lista de favoritos não é a minha. ela é apenas parte do artigo que o Christian Finnegan escreveu pra revista Jest. thanks!]